WARNING: the following text contains messages of mass stupidity. Read on if you dare
Jeffery skipped, humming a song that he didn’t know, down the yellow snow road. Jeffery bent down and ate the yellow snow road which tasted like pizza. Jeffery wanted more pizza so he went home and made a pizza. It tasted like nachos. His nachos tasted like cookies. Jeffery sold his nachos and made money. He took off his shoes and found a penny in them so he used the penny to take a plane to Train Town. Train Town is on Pluto but Pluto doesn’t exist. Jeffery made it exist, and then he traveled to Train Town.

In train town everybody flied an airplane. Train town doesn’t have any trains. Train town had a lot of Motel-Hotel but they didn’t have Hotel-Motels. Nothing has changed at all. When Jeffery got to train town he checked into a Motel-Hotel. It had a purple q rating. It was called “Train town’s Motel-Hotel.

When Jeffery got to his room he called his wife Rebecca and invited her to stay with him. “I’m in train town in the car hotel. It has a purple q rating.”

“See you there” replied Rebecca. Little did they know that their phone call was being listed to. And Jeffery was not prepared for what was about to happen.

Deep beneath a CVS there was nothing special. However beneath an IHOP there was a very secret base. It had a billboard with a picture of grape orange juice. The billboard read, “Secret base right here. You will never find it unless you read this.”
In the base the man listened. He called a friend of his “General Speed Stick. I have found Jeffery. He is in train town. Meet me there and we shall destroy Jeffery and Rebecca”.
“I will be there. And remember if you find Joseph then tell me” Commanded Speed stick.
“I will” replied the man.

Jeffery called room service. Jeffery said, “Hello room service I would like to eat a steam boat”.

“And why are you telling us this,” replied room service.

“I don’t know but I like sprinklers,” and then Jeffery hung up.

Jeffery wanted to eat a steam boat. So he turned into a 7 scared 6 and 8 9. Then he changed back into Jeffery. Then Jeffery blew up his camera with an ice-cube. Then Jeffery left his hotel. Then Jeffery got an elbow on his hand. So he cut it off with safety scissors. Jeffery got Italian food. Jeffery didn’t get shrimp because when Jeffery gets shrimp he buys laughing gas. Then he finds the nearest hot tub a fills it with tacos. Jeffery went to the soda water fountain. He chugged from it. Jeffery went to the bathroom. Jeffery looked in the bathroom mirror. He realized that he was very hairy. Even his hair had hair even though Jeffery is bald. So he shaved. Now he had hair. Then he heard a pounding on the door. On the other side of the door he heard a gruff voice say “Jeffery, I know you’re in there.”

“No you don’t. You just had a lucky guess” responded Jeffery

”Fine I Lucky Guessed that you were in there. Now come out or else” screamed the voice.

Jeffery knew he wasn’t going to like the answer. ” I chose purple” yelled Jeffery and Ran through the wall.
Speed Stick busted down the door. Jeffery had ran though the wall. “Very clever Jeffery, Very clever.” muttered Speed Stick. “No matter. I shall catch you Jeffery if it is the last thing I do”. Speed Stick walked though the rubble. He followed Jeffery’s tracks for a few blocks. They stopped at a bus stop. From there the trail went cold. Just then a bus came. Speed Stick boarded the bus. He was on his way to find Jeffery. And nothing could stop him.Jeffery was in the palm of his hand.
Jeffery, in panic, hid on top of the bus stop. Speed Stick got on the bus and rode away. Jeffery hated Speed Stick. It reminded him of the pancake incident. He wanted to get rid of that van. Jeffery called Rebecca. He told her to go to Las Vegas. There he could badger out on the buffet of shrimp. A lot of hot tubs would have tacos in them. Jeffery had a swollen jaw. So Jeffery killed a man eating shark. He go $5.34 so he went to subway and go a $5.00 foot-long sandwich. That gave him the energy to buy a ticket out of train town. He was on his way to Tallahassee. Then to China, then to Las Vegas, then to Europe, and back to Las Vegas. Jeffery Didn’t take the plane directly to Vegas because he didn’t like dark blue seats.

Speed Stick found that Jeffery had left. He had gone to Europe. Jeffery had tried to lose him but Speed Stick knew that Jeffery was clever…in a weird kind of way. He knew Jeffery couldn’t keep up the dumb act forever. He knew this because nobody could be as stupid as Jeffery was pretending to be.Of corse throughout this whole hunt Jeffery had been 2 steps ahead of him. This wouldn’t stop him.He was going to hunt Jeffery down. Then he and lord AXE would help get Joseph the llama.Then he would have his revenge once and for all.
Jeffery got to Las Vegas. He thought his was in France because he saw a hotel. Then Jeffery decided to become an artist. Jeffery painted a stick figure being held by a balloon. It sold for 100 dollars. Just then a drill came out of the ground. A voice came out of the drill.
“Jeffery. I have found you and a shall use my dogs to hunt you down”.
“Uh-Oh,” muttered Jeffery, “Home Depot is after me. Good thing I have an orange fat pen”.Jeffery thew the orange pen at the drill. The pen jammed the Drill and it stopped moving. It was to much pressure on the engine and it exploded. Jeffery stopped at the ice cream stand and bought an ice-cream cone without any ice-cream. Jeffery took of running. He ran out of breath really fast so he bought more foot longs from a talking stick. Then Jeffery turned the corner and slammed into a llama.

“Sorry about that. Here have an ice-cream cone with no ice-cream,” offered Jeffery
“Thanks” said the llama.
“My name is Jeffery. What’s yours?” asked Jeffery.
“Joseph. Joseph the lama. Hey me and my wife Megan need a place to stay,” asked Joseph.
“Yeah I’ll give you a place to stay” replied Jeffery.

Lord AXE awoke lying on the pavement fifteen minutes later.He wondered what happened. Then he saw a burnt drill and then it all came back to him. The explosion, Jeffery, his cunning plan to jam the drill. To bad that Jeffery didn’t have an ally. AXE pulled out his phone and called General Speed Stick.
“Hello Speed Stick,” said AXE.

“Hello AXE any word on where Joseph is,” asked Speed Stick.

“Not Yet. Listen up I have found Jeffery and his is in Las Vegas,” said AXE. There was a moment of silence and then Speed Stick hung up. Well he was going right to work on finding Jeffery.

Jeffery awoke in his hotel’s hot tub. He looked at his clock and saw it was 6:97 on Jeffery’s watch. The hot tub was filled with Doritos nacho cheese tacos.Jeffery looked in the mirror. He saw that he had a scar on his Kneecap-Forehead.  Then he realized it was pizza sauce. Jeffery flapped his wings and out came 128 raisins. He sure had given Joseph a awesome welcome-who are you party. Jeffery then wondered where Joseph was. He probably was at the casino. The casino was made out of a pencil, a plastic bag, leaves, dirt and a casino. Jeffery went to his room. There Rebecca was waiting for him.She had got Jeffery a big bag of Watermelon. Rebecca had remembered date morning. Little did Jeffery know that trouble was  brewing elsewhere in Las Vegas.

AXE was out side of a casino. A group known as the ghetto dove. They had made the Dove for Men. He strode into the Casino with a posture that meant business. He went right up to the counter. The man behind the counter said,

“Hello sir. If you have come to stay we our sold out so good bye”.
AXE decided he would bring out the big guns. He pulled out a can of AXE body spray and aimed it right at him.

“Now listen up,” growled AXE,”I’m here to speak with Dove. Now take me to him or else I start spraying. The man’s face suddenly was beaded with sweat.

“As you wish,” stuttered the man. He began to lead AXE up the stairs.

Joseph knew something wasn’t right. 2+2 doesn’t equal 15. Joseph decided to take a break from math. He was going out side of the hotel for tacos. Jeffery had put all the tacos in the hot tub outside. Joseph’s Afro was now purple. Joseph had drunk to much orange juice so now his Afro was purple. Joseph decided to take a trip to the fake Eiffel tower. When he got there he ate a bush. His horn caught fire again. Then Joseph felt a tap on the afro. He turned around to find the creature who had broken his horn. It was General Speed Stick and he had a can of Speed Stick Body Spray pointed right at Joseph.
Jeffery was flying over Las Vegas. He was eating a Cube of Nachos. Jeffery liked purple cheese. Suddenly Jeffery had the sudden urge to fly to the fake Eiffel tower. So Jeffery grabbed the fake Statue of Liberty. He made it come to life. It thew him and his plane to the Eiffel tower. He saw a man pointing a weapon at Joseph. Jeffery pouted his plane at the ground and let out his battle cry. Jeffery’s battle cry sounds like a chicken who had ate a rainbow and was yelling.

He had done it. Speed Stick had cornered Joseph. Finally he would get his revenge.

“Any last words,” taunted Speed Stick.

“Glue Stick should rhyme with Cheese Burger,” said Joseph with pride. He still was keeping up the dumb act. Oh well at least he wouldn’t die with dignity. Suddenly he heard a weird shriek it sounded like an airplane mixed with a banshee mixed with a dying cow. It got louder and louder. Speed Stick turned around to find Jeffery letting out a battle cry. The battle cry was scary enough but Jeffery was Flying a plane at him.

“See you later Lollypop chewer” yelled Joseph.He leaped into the air and away from the danger. Speed Stick looked at the propeller blades. He knew that they would be his last sight. He closed his eyes. And then nothing. Speed Stick was dead.

Jeffery stopped his battle cry. Joseph gave Jeffery a top hat. Jeffery knew what he should do next. He should go to the pay phone and make prank calls. He called every body to rally a gang of Old Spice and everybody that Jeffery knew. Joseph meanwhile licked a corn dog. Jeffery began lighting bushes on fire. The he covered bushes with yellow paint. Joseph meanwhile was gumming on a pickle. These were all vital parts of the plan to waste money while having a good time. He could have just done that at the Casino. Well Jeffery and Joseph like to be  creative. They also did it to mark were everybody would meet.

Half a mile away Lord AXE heard the explosion. He felt the ripple. Speed Stick was dead, and it was all Jeffery and Joseph’s fault. Those two must be masterminds who were really good at playing dumb. He knew that if he didn’t eliminate them soon then he would die.
“Jeffery and Joseph will not get away with this crime. I will crush them even if it is the last thing that I do” muttered AXE.
But Sir Man Dove had assembled his gang. He would avenge Speed Stick by killing Jeffery and Joseph.AXE had rallied his underground army. They all got in tanks and charged.

Jeffery’s army had arrived. Finn and his army of hamsters, Joseph and his even bigger Afro, and Jeffery with his π layer dip.They were ready as soon as Old Spice arrived. Suddenly they heard a rumble. It was Jeffery’s stomach. Then there was a bigger rumble. They turned their heads down the Street to see an army of tanks coming their way. “Charge!” screamed Jeffery and nobody followed for 2.32 seconds and then they charged. The battle was about to begin

AXE looked to see if he could find all the fear in Jeffery’s and Joseph’s eyes. Instead he found Jeffery leading an army. But then he smiled a wicked smile. He knew his army of AXE would be there momentarily. The battle would just start without them. He aimed his turret and fired. Then a rain of tank shells followed after his shell. He would finally win once and for all

Jeffery saw the rain of tank shells heading right at him and his army.
“Harry the Hamster” yelled Jeffery, “Do what you do and Dance fight”.
“O.K. Boys open fire!” said Harry.
A rain of bullets struck down the tank shells. Jeffery opened his mouth and ate them. They tasted horrible so Jeffrey spat them out. They hit a tank and it went flying into the air. Then they aimed their guns and opened fire. Finn Chucked hand grenades, Hamsters fired Tommy guns, Joseph burnt tanks with his burning horn, and Jeffery just tried to get the tank shell taste out of his mouth. Then things took a turn for the worse. An army of AXE minions burst from the ground.
“Yes my minions rise and destroy Jeffery’s army!” yelled AXE. The minions charged and it looked hopeless. The Hamster army thew hand grenades that had little effect. Joseph’s eternally burning horn had little effect. Even Jeffery’s Shell vomit couldn’t stop them.
“Well this is the end everybody. I just with that I was too stupid to die,” and then Jeffery realized two things. Americans will never embrace Soccer and that the Old Spice troops had just come in but nobody else noticed. They were doing the sneak attack. Finn however decided to take drastic measures. He pulled out the remote and the fake Eiffel Tower went up into the sky.  Suddenly from underneath a giant Hamster standing on his hind legs let out a roar. It was Hammyzilla, and he was angry.
AXE couldn’t believe his eyes. Hammyzilla was about to attack them.
“Retreat!! Retreat!!,” yelled AXE.
The troops couldn’t hear him. He turned his tank around and drove as fast as he could. Then he saw a legion of Old Spice attacking the rear. He found an opening though the side and drove through. Before he could go anywhere something large like the statue of liberty hit his tank. Then claws came through the ceiling and picked up the tank.

“Drop me at ONCE!!!” screamed AXE.

“O.K.” said Jeffery.Uh-Oh. Jeffery had his tank and and was about to drop it on who knows what.He fastened on a life vest and an extra stet belt braced him self.

Jeffrey was above Hammyzilla when he herd the command to drop the tank shell feeder. Jeffery decided he would and he dropped it into Hammyzilla’s open mouth. The tank landed on his tongue and Hammyzilla began to chew the tank. Then he swallowed. Lord AXE was finally dead. There was a long moment of silence. Then the tanks retreated. They had won.

Jeffery’s army cheered with glee. They had won. The battle was over and they survived. Guns were fired into the air. People shared a glasses of soda. Finn gave Hammyzilla a ton of Belly rubs.

“Jeffery” screamed Rebecca.

“Rebecca” screamed Jeffery.

They ran toward each other. They had survived the battle and they had won. Then again they both were to stupid to die. So we they met they kissed. They could live extremely happily ever after… Until the next sequel.
The End