Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”  – Melody Beattie, Author

Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology and author of the book THANKS! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, states that gratitude is the “queen of the virtues.”  That being the case, the “king” of virtues has to be empathy (see February 2013 blog).

The “king” and “queen” oversee a “court of virtues,” such as respect, responsibility, compassion, courage, perseverance, citizenship, self-discipline, gratitude, honesty, trust, and empathy.

We should include in the “courtyard” Martin Seligman’s “character strengths” list:

1. Wisdom and knowledge (creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective)
2. Courage (bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality)
3. Humanity (love, kindness, social-emotional intelligence) Justice (social responsibility, citizenship)
4. Temperance (forgiveness and mercy, humility/modesty, self regulation)
5. Transcendence (gratitude, hope, humor)

Our homes, schools, communities, and society, should be fostering and promoting these character strengths and virtues among the young; one might make a case for adults as well.

Let’s focus on the “queen and king” –gratitude and empathy.

Source: The Court of Virtues | Character Development Center

…. they devised a tool to fix that, built on a simple two-part frame that describes the mental state you want to avoid, and the one you want to be in. They call it Red Head/Blue Head.

• Red Head is the negative state, when you are heated, overwhelmed, and tense (H.O.T., in the parlance). Your emotional engine is smoking, your perceptions are slow, the game feels too fast, and your decision making is rushed.
• Blue Head, on the other hand, is the precise opposite: the cool, controlled, pattern-seeing state, when you retain your awareness and your decision-making power, when you stay flexible and deliver top performance.

The key is doing three things: Continue reading →

• Hint: Use Gratitude Journals to support the 7 Character Strengths Program: Zest, Grit, Self-Control, Optimism, Gratitude, Social Intelligence, Curiosity…

1. Believe It and Model It: We Take Responsibility at OTA for the entire day, for everything that happens on our campus, for every child who grows, or fails to grow.
2. Name It: Give a name to the intangible traits that make kids strong…
3. See More…

• Hint: Make Gratitude Journals part of Class Meetings (Read out some gratitude notes, before or after Affirmations)

“Would you like to improve the culture in your classroom and your life? Try gratitude. Based on my ten years of teaching experience, this is the most powerful tool that I know.

“Gratitude has empowered me to teach more effectively, appreciate my individual students, grow in my profession, and enjoy life. Utilizing gratitude, I am able to model one of the most important lessons in life, having a positive attitude, especially about the aspects of life that challenge me.

Gratitude Journal: “To get started in your classroom…

Continue reading →

People who have studied character development through the ages have generally found hectoring lectures don’t help. The superficial “character education” programs implanted into some schools of late haven’t done much either.

Instead, sages over years have generally found at least four effective avenues to make it easier to climb. Government-supported programs can contribute in all realms.

• First, habits. If you can change behavior you eventually change disposition. People who practice small acts of self-control find it easier to perform big acts in times of crisis. Quality preschools, K.I.P.P. schools and parenting coaches have produced lasting effects by encouraging young parents and students to observe basic etiquette and practice small but regular acts of self-restraint. Grace & Courtesy throughout the day. Not even one rude remark or act can go unchecked. No bad habits … from drop-off to pick-up. Recess is Outdoor Education (or mis-Education)
• Second, opportunity. Maybe you can practice self-discipline through iron willpower. But most of us can only deny short-term pleasures because we see a realistic path between self-denial now and something better down the road. Young women who see affordable college prospects ahead are much less likely to become teen moms.
• Third, exemplars… Continue reading →

Why do some children succeed while others fail?

The story we usually tell about childhood and success is the one about intelligence: success comes to those who score highest on tests, from preschool admissions to SATs.

But in How Children Succeed, Paul Tough argues that the qualities that matter most have more to do with character: skills like perseverance, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, and self-control.

How Children Succeed introduces us to a new generation of researchers and educators who, for the first time, are using the tools of science to peel back the mysteries of character. Continue reading →

Researchers found that people who are happy but have little to no sense of meaning in their lives — proverbially, simply here for the party — have the same gene expression patterns as people who are responding to and enduring chronic adversity. That is, the bodies of these “happy” people are preparing them for bacterial threats by activating the pro-inflammatory response. Chronic inflammation is, of course, associated with major illnesses like heart disease and various cancers.

“Empty positive emotions” ….. — ”are about as good for you for as adversity,” says Fredrickson….It’s important to understand that for many people, a sense of meaning and happiness in life overlap; many people score ….

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