This is the ‘What Was it Like Now’ project for reading Cyrano de Bergerac. I was assigned to to recreate a scene in modern day language, humor, and ways. Instead of having Cyrano give his speech about his nose, I had him have a rap battle against The Viscount: the man who originally insulted his nose. This is not what actually happened in the play, but this is what it would probably be like now.

The Viscount: You have a fat nose! In fact it’s not even a nose it’s a hose!

Cyrano: Wow. Was that really bad sayin’ that my nose was big, I don’t think you’ve got the hang of any of this. You made one rhyme; hooray! If I was you and I’d say ‘I’d amputate’ . Or even ‘A pencil or even a stick of TNT armed to explode!’ ‘Yeah quite an untsable bit of a block, a nose like thats as long as a stock.’ ‘Like a chimney that looks like it’s burnt,’ yeah my rhymes bring on the hurt! ‘A lump of flesh and bone,’ I say, I say your really about to get owned! A massive monument to the gods, when the gods are the ones who gave me this rod. A nose or monster that could be seen from the space, but no one really wants to see your face. Better go on now, leave while you can, before this battle really gets bad. Rhymes are lame like my nose, since to you it’s ‘such a hose!’ Oh yeah, I’m bringing on the pain, I’m unstoppable like a speeding train. I think it’s time to leave this place before you bring on any more disgrace!

Audience: OHHH!- Wow- That guy got destroyed- Yeah- Cyrano is so cool- Dang, his rhymes were awesome!

MC: Ok, I think the clear winner here is… CYRANO! (Audience cheers)

The Viscount: Aww… man! Psh! (He walks away angrily after being owned by Cyrano)