Have you ever felt that you were being stalked? It’s a very creepy feeling. When you know that someone is watching you. All The time. You start to get paranoid. People call you crazy and don’t believe you when you know that it’s true. You start to act differently even when you’re alone. You can’t sleep at night because this idea is stuck in your head and it’s impossible to get it out. You can’t see anyone. But someone can see you. And you know it.
Well I have. It was terrible. It did work out in The end, but I would do anything to erase my memory of The time. I will never forget it. It was The summer of 2014 and I was driving home from a Saturday morning lacrosse practice. I had peered out The window and my eye had caught two men in bright, neon green, AT&T polo shirt uniforms. They strolled up and down my street, selling AT&T door to door to my neighbors. They were normal people. Nothing odd or weird about Them. Just AT&T salesmen. But little did I know that I would be seeing These two men more often that I had thought.
I didn’t think much of These men when I first saw Them. For all I knew, They were just AT&T guys. So when I got home, I tossed my lacrosse gear in The tub that I always keep my gear in and went downstairs to watch T.V. Though in The middle of a Duck Dynasty episode, I heard voices upstairs. My mom, my dad, and two of which I didn’t recognize. Usually I would just assume that it was Smey, a family friend of ours, or my friend Jake’s mom who frequently visits. However it was a Duck Dynasty episode that I had already seen, so I went upstairs to check it out out of boredom. So I paused The T.V. and marched upstairs to see who had been talking. When I got up There, I saw two men in neon green polo shirts with The AT&T logo printed across Their chests. It was The same couple of men I had seen earlier. It was no big deal. They were just trying to sell AT&T. Not being amused by Their conversation, I headed back downstairs.
At this point, nothing was out of The ordinary. I was just under The impression that They were normal people attempting to sell AT&T. I didn’t have The slightest clue about who They actually were, or who They could be.
A few days later, again after a lacrosse practice, my family felt like going to Souplantation. My broTher and I threw our lacrosse gear in The tub and were on our way. We were sitting down when I noticed two people sitting in a booth near us. They were standing up ready to head out to Their car and go home. I recognized Them immediately. They were wearing neon green polo shirts with a large logo printed across Their chest. It were The AT&T guys again! This time, I thought it was weird. “Dad, its The same AT&T guys from earlier!” Given no real response, more of a “yea, yea, ok” kind of look, I told my mom, but she just said, “It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a coincidence”. But I didn’t think so…
By this time, my family had eaten, and were ready to go home. We headed back to The car and began driving home. When we were approaching my street, I gazed out The window and saw something that made my heart skip a beat. I told my mom to look out The window and she too saw Them. Sure enough, it were The same AT&T guys, selling door to door. When I got home, I tried to convince my mom that They had been following us. They weren’t just showing up at The same place as us on accident. They must be spies or something. Or at least, that’s what I was thinking. She again, assured me that They were normal people and that I was crazy, but I didn’t believe it.
I was still in shock that we ran into Them at Souplantation. I thought that I was crazy at first, but my family had seen Them too. They just weren’t as surprised as They should have been, or as I was. But I just pretended to believe my mom that I was delusional and went downstairs to watch T.V. As I was watching T.V, I was texting at The same time. I was totally absorbed in my virtual conversation with my friends, and my favorite drama, known as Walker Texas Ranger. I felt that I could relax. I tried to lie back on The recliner, but I was still a little uneasy. I was thinking about The AT&T employees. I wondered if They were watching me right Then. I wondered if They were actually working for AT&T.
I fell asleep after some time. I woke up an unknown amount of time later with a headache and a sore neck. I decided to grab a comforter, quilt, and a pillow and make a make-shift bed out of my couch. Once that was completed, I began watching The movie Ride Along on TV. When I was in my own world like this, usually nothing could wake me up. Usually…
When I was in my trance, I had noticed that I was hearing people talking upstairs. I ignored it for a while, but The conversation didn’t stop. I couldn’t make out what They were talking about, so I hustled upstairs to see who it was. When I saw what I saw, I was in shock. I knew that this wasn’t an accident. I knew this wasn’t coincidence. I knew that something was up when I saw my parents buying AT&T from The two same exact men. I sat next to my dad and gave him a look, telling him I was sure that They were killers or stalkers or spies or something. Although it seemed that I wasn’t discreet enough, because The next thing I knew, They looked at me with confusion. My dad Then explained to Them that I had seen Them over and over again repeatedly and that I just had some crazy ideas. They laughed, and I went back downstairs. My mom and dad had just bought AT&T (or cable) from The men that had been stalking our family for a few weeks now.
Now what I’m about to tell you is what I think proof that I wasn’t crazy. I still feel The shock that I felt on that day, today. A few weeks passed, and we now had cable. I hadn’t seen The AT&T salesmen ever since They sold AT&T to us and I had almost forgotten about Them. Then one unforgettable night, our family decided to have a movie night and watch something on The movie channel. But midway through our movie, during a commercial break, an AT&T ad aired. What I’m about to tell you proves that I wasn’t crazy at all. My whole family… Saw The SAME AT&T MEN, talking about AT&T on our TV.
That was it. That was The final straw. I knew that none of this was a coincidence. There was a pattern. Someone was watching over me and my family, and I felt we needed protection. I feared for my life. I feared for my family’s life. We were all in danger. But why? What would They want with us? We hadn’t done anything wrong. This was injustice. Something had to be done. But what? What would I do? Call The cops? They would laugh in my face just The rest of The world. I was on my own. Then it hit me. I knew what had to be done.
I followed through with my plan to fend for my family. Ever since my deed, I have been receiving letters to my prison cell, all addressed from The New York Times and various newspapers. “Why did you do it?”, They would ask. “What was your motive?”. My response was always The same, and it always will be. “Sometimes a man has to murder an AT&T salesmen to score points in this crazy game called life.”
I thought it was all over. I thought that I would be in here for life, and that was that. But I got a visit from a man in a suit on a Sunday. He was wearing a black tie and had slicked back hair. He smelled like Old Spice. I could have sworn that I had seen him before. He was a large white man with black shined shoes.
“Are you Tobin Tobias?”, he began.
“What’s it to you? Who even are you?”.
He gave me a long stare. He made me feel uneasy. I couldn’t see his eyes, because he was wearing a pair of expensive black sunglasses. Then it hit me. It was so obvious. I grew up loving this man’s movies, but I thought he was just a fictitious character. He was Agent K. One of The men in black.
I was almost 100% sure that he was Agent K, but I had to ask anyways.
“Are you Agent K?”, I asked.
“Yes I am. I work for The men in black, a top secret organization that visits people who encounter UFO’s, aliens, or oTher extraterrestri-”
“I know who you are. I have watched your movies. But what do you want with me?”.
“It is my understanding that you killed a new species of extraterrestrial. They are called ‘hypoliaproburgerables’. They are highly dangerous, and were planning to take over The universe. However, since you killed two of Them, They realized that earth was too dangerous. The hypoliaproburgerables have retreated from earth, but are still planning on taking over The rest of The universe.”
“Hate to break it to you my friend,” I started, “but I killed two AT&T guys that were stalking me and my family. No hypo-what’s-it’s.”
Agent K let out a little chuckle.
“You don’t understand, do you. We know what you did. You killed two AT&T guys and buried Them in your yard. The authorities don’t know that. They are still looking for The bodies. But when you buried Them, They took Their true form and decomposed. I came here because we need your help.”
That surprised me. I knew that The AT&T guys were stalkers, but I never would have guessed that They were aliens. But I didn’t care. Only one thing came to mind. The fact that I wasn’t crazy. I did The right thing. I wasn’t a cold blooded killer, like everyone said. I saved The planet.
“Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you save me from this hell hold years ago when I was first thrown in?”
“We thought you were full of crap, honestly. We weren’t sure if you were telling The truth. But Then we received a letter from Their home planet. They claimed that we killed Their two scouts that were sent to check out earth. They had a plan to take over our planet, but were outsmarted. We are now giving you a choice. We will eiTher give you twenty million dollars cash for killing The two, or a chance to fight These beasts with pay.”
Some may call me crazy or stupid, but I feel like I made The right choice. I knew how I felt when I was followed by The AT&T guys, and I didn’t want that to happen to oThers. I couldn’t let The rest of The universe feel The same terror that I did. Everyone else was so easily fooled by The hypoliaproburgerables. I had a gift. A gift that would save The world. I chose to fight The beasts.
To be continued…