we are sitting side by side now, but you’re still not ‘really’ here, are you? i can see a distance of a thousand miles separates us though only inches in front of you, our fingers brush. you hardly even notice my stare, which is intently concentrated on your lips; they’re moving, yet you’re mute. so i shift my gaze and i land among your eyes. “well this is new.” is this when i fell?

before i was capable of catching my breath, which mind you is normally never a problem, my heart liquified, melted inside of itself. and i couldn’t help think about how much i desperately want to be lost, in all of your features. but i think i realize now, i already am.

we’re still face to face & you’re still not here as our coffees arrive. but thats alright because i like to think that you’re off in your mind, thinking about me… though i very well know you’re not. and now, i can’t help but wonder what you taste like.
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i often find myself
six steps behind.

i’ve counted.

i often find myself
being lifted
& carried away to my happy ending
by my own self.

in my left hand i would keep hold
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
white rose petals.

& as i am lifted higher
i let a petal fall.

her aroma still among me
i’d let another drop from my fingertips.

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their leathery gray skin,
wrinkled from time,
like your smile creases.

in rhythmic motions,
they steadily push forward,
dust particles twinkling in the sunlight behind them,
& they dance, alone. Continue reading →

the last golden rays,
your light,
tuck behind your rough sea,
mirroring todays memories.

wind whispers in my ear,
asking me to join you.
envelope me,
with sharp words.
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the asphalt beneath our feet become soaked,
with raindrops,

the unwelcoming clouds,
bellow with thunder.

yet,
here i stand,
warm & safe in your arms.

each noisy, splashing step we take,
turns into white noise,

along with the rest of the city.
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Emotion is color. All of the blues, all of the reds, the purples, the greys. I see color in the music I listen to. Therefore, music is also emotion. All that we listen to provokes some sort of feeling, but sometimes you just gotta look for it. The music I am particularly attracted to is more mellow, acoustic, rainy day music, which is why I believe I reacted so strongly to Honeybee by Seahaven.

Music is a safety net. On the good days and the bad, music will always be available to use as a shoulder to lean on. Thankfully for me, on those rather bad days, I have Honeybee by Seahaven to listen to on repeat until I’m tired of feeling bad for myself. Honeybee is kind of an unpopular melody that could fall under the category of indie/ acoustic. This song can be interpreted in many different ways but personally, I believe that it is about grieving your mistakes and looking back in regret. one line that is said repetitively throughout the song is, “I think you deserve some sort of apology. so here I am, and here I am. I’m sorry.” Not only do these lyrics read in an apologetic tone, but the vocalist controls his voice in a manner that makes the song all the more emotional and heartfelt. This goes to say that it can help encourage releasing your own bottled up feelings on the days that we feel the need to acknowledge whatever grief or pain we may be feeling.

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city lights, coffee mugs, and table side music.
sure. we can sit here & chat,
but you should really know,
theres nothing more i really want,
than to be alone with the world.
if it were up to me,
i know i’d be sitting right here.
alone.
taking in the heavy clouds weezing with rain,
and watch starry eyed,
as the released rain droplets would melt into my coffee mug.
& i would smile.
mmmmh.
inhale the pavement,
allow my fingertips the numbness as i clutch an umbrella above,
sip down my savior,
& watch the world as it is,
with the ignorance of a child,
& i would smile.

without a single judgment.